Monday, February 9, 2009

Random

Maybe I should stop....stop thinking, stop believing, stop having faith in any good that should happen to me. Success seems like a mirage to me now. Positive thinking is not working. It won't. Call me stubborn but thats what I feel.
Writing gives me a strange solace. It helps me give coherent form to the myriad emotions and thoughts that I experience. Maybe I try too hard. I should stop working hard because those who don't are doing much better here. I now feel that I am truly alone. Alone in this pool of struggle that I myself dived into. Little did I know that I would be drowning....I sometimes wonder why all this is happening to me....
I'm letting out a scream but no one can hear it. Its stifled in all the unworthiness that surrounds me. I want to talk but find no words....Waiting for something good to happen.....Its been too long. How much longer do I have to wait? I am waiting because I now feel a sense of helplessness, a sudden loss of control...
I will end here.....I want this to pass.....to pass...to pass....soon!

2 comments:

magiceye said...

it will pass...
it will pass...
carry on the struggle... it is the last lap to victory! the toughest!
come on!!! yayyyy!!!

Swats said...

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."- Dorothy Thompson... and seconded by me...for my bestest friend... come on beta...you're one of the bravest ppl i know...i know you'll be strong ... huggg...swats